Dear kittenpants:
God I want you, Kittypants. Unless you are too tall, male, gay, straight, bulemic, obese, trendy, blonde, scored less than 1400 on your SAT's, took the ACT, went to Sara Lawrence, wear red shoes, say things like "these days," have any visible scars longer than two inches, and wouldn't just love me for who I am (plus my amazing physique and meaty genitalia).

Eric

Dear Eric:
Sorry, but I'm a straight, blonde, ACT-taker. I only scored 1200 on my SATs, and these days, I don't know how to love anyone who uses the phrase "meaty genitalia."

But you still want me.

You know it.
xo,
kittenpants