Dear Uncle Sloppy:
I really cannot stop wearing black. Can you recommend a color I can change my "outfits" to?

Style Me

Dear Style Me:
The only color you should be wearing is brown. Because brown is the color of shit. And only an insecure piece of shit would spend so much time worrying about what color to wear. So if your little Morrissey-loving pussy-goth ass can't handle wearing black anymore, then wear all brown you shitty, shitty man!

Also, I really think you would look good in a nice deep royal blue shirt with navy blue pants and deck shoes.

LOVE,
Uncle Sloppy