Dear Corn Mo:
Where did you put my shoes? It's very cold out. I need to buy the new issue of Gene Simmons' TONGUE and it's too far to walk on my hands.

Why did you put oatmeal in my socks?

Fresca C. Tab

Dear Fresca:
They are in the hamper. I love Gene Simmon's TONGUE magazine.

That's not oatmeal in your socks. I didn't know they were your socks. I couldn't find any tissues and I found those glorious socks right next to my free hand. You shouldn't leave socks next to old TONGUE magazines and expect to wear them outright. Put them in the hamper next to your shoes. Swish! Nuthin' but net!

love,
Corn Mo

***

Dear Corn Mo:
I just read your stuff that you wrote and then stapled and gave them to me and shelli. First you e-mailed to that guy. They were all about French guys and Viagra and Germans. Funny stuff. I like you. Bye.

scott

Dearest scott:
You and Shelli are very dear to me. I like you, too. For real.

love,
Corn Mo