State of the Union
Isn't about time those boring old state slogans got updated? Here are our suggestions.

* Alabama: Go ahead and mess with us!
* Alaska: Don't even get us started.
* Arizona just wants to be friends.
* Voulez vous coucher Arkansas, ce soir?
* California: I don't trust any state that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
* Colorado was into Interpol before they were big.
* Connecticut: Say it through your teeth.
* Delaware did not invent cancer.
* District of Columbia: Tastes so good, cats ask for it by name.
* East Virginia: The forgotten state.
* Only YOU can prevent Florida.
* Georgia: No more tears.
* Hawaii forgives Jon Benet.
* I Got Scalloped in Idaho!
* Illinois: The "S" is Violent!
* Indiana co-wrote The Brothers Karamazov.
* Yo quiero Iowa!
* Kansas told me to tell you he likes you.
* What happens in Kentucky stays in your vagina.
* Louisiana: Sean Penn was here!
* It's Not You. It's Maine.
* Maryland says you were adopted.
* Massachusetts: It's how you spell Mississippi.
* Michigan makes hamburgers taste like steakburgers!
* Minnesota: The Freshmaker.
* Mississippi: Hogging all the "I"s and "S"s
* Missouri: Neither shitting nor getting off the pot.
* Montana: The greatest football player ever.
* Four out of five dentists recommend Nebraska.
* Nevada is for Lovers. Of Rimjobs.
* Remember New Hampshire?
* New Jersey: Just a figment of your imagination.
* I lost my kids in New Mexico.
* New York: better living through evolution.
* North Carolina loved life.
* North Dakota: It's calling from inside the house!
* Ohio is saving herself for marriage. But you can put it in her butt.
* Oklahoma: A little dab'll do ya!
* Oregon disapproves.
* Pennsylvania will suck your cock for a ride home.
* You haven't ridden until you've Rhode Island!
* South Carolina: it's a hoax!
* South Dakota: The Panda State.
* Tennessee: Now with Retsyn!
* Texas: Your last, best defense against education.
* Utah is Utahded.
* Nobody doesn't like Vermont.
* Objects in Virginia are closer than they appear.
* Washington: Getting there is all the fun.
* My other car is West Virginia.
* Wisconsin: The State of Mustardly Love.
* WyOMFG!

***

Kittenpants with help from Matt Tobey
Feel free to submit your own links/comments.