Jokes I made up today

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Q: What do you get when you cross diet pills with crystal meth?
A: Lindsay Lohan's phone number.

Q: Why doesn't Tom Cruise like psychiatry?
A: Because e-meter thetan Xenu gorp battlefield Klingon.

Q: What's the difference between Scientology OT IV and OT V?
A: Give me $500,000 and I'll let you know

Q: What's the difference between a dead homeless guy and Demi Moore?
A: One gets fucked in the ass by Ashton Kutcher and the other was in GI Jane.

Q: What's the difference between a vagina full of diarrhea and Paris Hilton?
A: Nothing

Q: Did you know Rene Russo's in a new movie?
A. I didn't even know she was alive.

Q: How many Peter Pan movies does it take to satisfy Hollywood?
A: Apparently infinity.

Q: Did you hear Tara Reid had sex with eight different guys in one year?
A: Yes, it was 1982.

Q: what do you get when you cross Courtney Love with Anna Nicole Smith?
A: Courtney Love

So, Tommy Lee and Nikki Sixx are fucking Tyra Banks. Nikki says, "Man, this bitch is cold." and Tommy says, "Yeah, and deep, too!"

Q: If Mark McGrath traded his looks for better ratings, what would you get?
A: Ryan Seacrest

Q: What do you call a black and white semen receptacle?
A: Mariah Carey

Q: How much money do you think Adam Brody gets paid?
A. Who??

Q: What's the only thing lower than Nicole Richie's dress size?
A: Her T-cell count.

Q: How do you get a blowjob from Tara Reid?
A: Stop not letting her give you a blowjob.

Q: How can you tell the difference between Mary Kate and Ashley?
A: Mary Kate spits; Ashley swallows [food]

Q: Why did Madonna cross the road?
A: Kaballah.

Q. Why did Steve Gutenber--
A: Stop right there.

Q: What's the deal with Brittany Murphy?
A: I know, what a coked-up whore.

Q: What do Britney Spears and Paris Hilton's dog, Tinkerbell, have in common?
A: They were both abandoned when they became too fat to wear designer jeans.

Madonna: Hey, have you heard the new Madonna album?
Guy Ritchie: No, have you?
Madonna: No.
Guy Ritchie: Don't bring that trash into my house.

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Kittenpants with some help from Matt Tobey

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