Is there any question on this list I had better not ask you again?

The one about the thing.

Okay fine, I did offer to blow Clinton.

***

Have you ever tried to make the physical universe less real?

You mean like through art, or through dark wizardry?

Isn't that what drugs are for?

It's called "masturbation."

***

Have you ever zapped anyone?

Yes, with a rubber band.

Only with kisses.

Willie Aames and Scott Baio.

***

Have you ever had a body with a venereal disease? If so, did you spread it?

Only to people who deserved it.

Only with kisses.

I like to think of VD as "opposite-butter": when it's soft it's hard to spread.

LESS