Have you ever sought to persuade someone of your insanity?

No, but I've tried to persuade lots of people that my prices were insane. Really, how much would you expect to pay for this air conditioner? Because I'll beat it.

***

Have you ever deserted, or betrayed, a great leader?

Yes. His name is Mr. T.

Does meeting Bill Clinton and not offering to blow him count? If so, yes.

***

Have you ever smothered a baby?

Only with kisses.

Only during sex (but he liked it).

Have I ever mothered a baby? I'm a boy, stupid!

***

Do you deserve to have any friends?

Probably not.

Does anyone, really? There I go philosophizing again.

***

Have you ever castrated anyone?

Not in the literal sense.

Only metaphorically.

Only with kisses.

Can I count myself?

***

Do you deserve to be enslaved?

Still looking for the right woman.

This is really the BMG Music Club, isn't it? You can't send me to jail for the CDs "Brenda Walsh" and "Kelly Taylor" ordered.

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