Did you come to Earth for evil purposes?

No, I was born here.

If you consider "total rock n' roll domination" evil, then the answer is a resounding "maybe."

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Are you in hiding?

Yes (BMG Music Club).

***

Have you systematically set up mysteries?

Every time I "poop" or "pee".

Yes, but only to get boys to like me.

Villains who leave elaborate clues are just asking to be caught.

I place canisters full of maps for Geocachers in sacred burial mounds and each map leads to a kooky mishap (fool's gold in a horse's stomach).

***

Have you ever made a practice of confusing people?

Yes. I write for Yankee Pot Roast.

The old "asphinctersayswhat" always works when I run the bingo game for the 80-ups.

I don't need to practice. I'm an expert.

***

Have you ever philosophized when you should have acted instead?

Yes, deciding to wait and see Kangaroo Jack on video.

I've never acted nor philosophized.

I'm doing it right now.

***

Have you ever gone crazy?

Yes. (With Pat O'Brien!)

Green porridge machine says "gorp".

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