The Text big thing
This week's text messages from our cell-phone correspondent, Coach.

When I die, let it be beside my upturned walker on the floor of a casino.
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I just saw an apartment complex sign offering a "free designer purse" to new tenants.
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Pewter. you love it.
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Excuse, but you've got a piece of sand dollar on your cheek. Have you been eating windchimes?
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Remember... we have to weedeat around the satellite dish tomorrow.
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I love the taste of real emergencies.
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During emotional ballads, audiences have chosen to forgo the lighter,and now hold up their lit cellphone displays at concerts.
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You win an outrageous all-you-can-eat brunch in your parents' driveway.
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Tonight my head either wears a lampshade, or gets hit with a flowerpot.
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I was carrying a canoe upside down over my head and I lost my footing and fell head-over-heels into the creek at your niece's ranch. Good news: I landed perfectly upright in the now floating canoe. Bad news: everything on my bod's paralyzed but my text fing, and I think I hear a waterfall.

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IM quotes of the day

	"Listen, how do big news groups not know that Jack and Meg White aren't brother and sister? Do they think the Doobie Brothers are Steve and Bill Doobie?"
	"It's like when kids start doing a new designer drug, then two years later its totally old news, then two years after that, 48 Hours does a big expose on it. Then two years after that my Dad tries to use it in a sentence."

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Kittenpants

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