IN THE BEGINNING, God hated faggots.

It was weird. There was nothing--a great nothing. Not even the concept of “nothing” existed because it hadn’t been invented yet. Inside the nothing God began to create something. And God was really pissed about the queers.

God began to create molecules and atoms (and things that are even smaller than atoms that swirl around the atoms, called quarks). God used billions of atoms, put together in different ways, to create things like light and heat and cold. He began to create stars--an infinite amount of stars of varying sizes--all of which were made up of the atoms and quarks. And some stars had bodies called planets circling them, using something God invented called “gravitational pull.” God lumped millions and millions of stars and their rotating planets into groups called galaxies, and then to spice things up, he put a bunch of stars between the galaxies and made up some cool stuff like asteroids, black holes, nebulas and stuff like that. And even though God hadn’t gotten around to creating life of any kind just yet, the idea of homos really fuckin' burned him.

Eventually, on some of those planets, God used the molecules and the atoms and the quarks to create cells--sort of the building blocks of life. He started out with creatures just made out of one cell (humans have billions and billions). Anyway, he made some of these one-celled things, and then creatures that had a few more cells, like plants. Oh, and I forgot about water and wind and the atmosphere--he created all that, too. Also air. All that stuff is made up of cells, too. And boy did he hate him some faggots.

So anyway, God creates this ingenious system of life which lives off of other life, right? Like the grass grows, the cow eats the grass, we eat the cow, we fertilize the soil and the grass grows... and so on. Except that’s a little too simple because its not taking into account the way that God created the sun to make the grass live and keep all the things warm. Also I heard something about the little animals that live inside the cow that help the cow digest the food--God also created germs and bacteria and acids and stuff. Shit. I'm leaving out a bunch of stuff about how God created everything. There's really a lot. I forgot about neutrons and electrons--they do something important, I think. I did mention that he hated the gays, though, right? He hates those guys.

Basically, God created everything, and in his omnipotence realized that the gays need to cut that faggoty shit out! I mean, seriously. Will and Grace on the T.V.?! I'm tryin to fuckin eat here. DAMN!

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