Study Finds Abstinence-Based Education Misleading. Also: Grass Found to be Green.
The Washington Post ran an article describing how many abstinence-only education courses are full of "unproved claims, subjective conclusions or outright falsehoods". I'll go one step further than those motherfuckers to report that ALL abstinence-based sex ed is misleading, because anyone who has ever had sex can tell you that it beats not having sex every time. Hands down.

According to the Post, "Many American youngsters participating in federally funded abstinence-only programs have been taught over the past three years that abortion can lead to sterility and suicide, that half the gay male teenagers in the United States have tested positive for the AIDS virus, and that touching a person's genitals "can result in pregnancy..."

Well, technically, that last part is true, as long as you are touching the genitals internally, with your dong.

The article goes on to list other misconceptions being passed on to teens, such as, "A 43-day-old fetus is a "thinking person," and "HIV can be spread via sweat and tears".

You know, I remember thinking those Sex-Ed films I watched in 7th grade were lame, but I have to give them credit for presenting me with mostly factual information. Compared to the kids taking these abstinence only classes, I was Alfred Fucking Kinsey. When I actually managed to get laid 6 years later, I didn't put my dick in her ear, or anything. I used a condom and managed to avoid AIDS, depression, and suicide.

Another plus: not one of the billions of "thinking persons" who live in my balls are currently child support recipients.

If you really want to teach your children about sex, I recommend the Eddie Murphy videos Delirious and Raw. According to Mr. Murphy, the problem with adolescents engaging in sexual intercourse is not the result of a lack of education. Rather, it is that "they ain't got no dick control!"

Murphy furthermore suggests that young people "can't make the fuck faces... cool motherfuckin' faces, " and that "they only make one face, cause they surprised they fuckin'!"

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