Republican political operatives have spent months digging up dirt on Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry. Here are just a few of the things they've found about the Massachusetts senator:

* Can't dance

* Face is reeeaaal long

* Voted for Senate Bill 1163, which called for Laci Peterson to be murdered

* Staged the entire Vietnam War so he could boast about serving

* Catholic

* Owns less than 11 guns

* Supports legalized interracial marriage

* When rapping along to Ying-Yang Twins, doesn't censor himself when they get to the dirty parts

* Really likes Pepsi Edge

* Donated money to Al-Qaeda even after Sept. 11

* Shot a man in Reno just to watch him die

* Still wearing trucker hats

* Wants to raise the price of gas by a million dollars

* Once sacrified a baby lamb to the devil

* Voted for Bush in 2000

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