Russian gorillas took over a school?
When I first read that a bunch of gorillas took over a school in Russia I thought, "that shit is going to be hilarious". I imagined a scenario in which the school principal would be all yelling and screaming, "Git zose feelthy beasts out off ze office!" Then, on cue, one of the gorillas would throw a banana peel in front of him and he'd slide into the cafeteria and land face first in the mashed potato tray.

Unfortunately it turned out it was guerillas that took over the school, and instead of hilarity ensuing, 340 people died. This must be what Bush meant when he said the world was a safer place.

Speaking of monkeys...

Chimps Destroy Election
"Critics of the Diebold touch-screen voting machines turned their attention Wednesday from the machines themselves to the computers that will tally the final vote, saying the outcome is so easy to manipulate that even a monkey could do it."

That's fucking brilliant. No voting machine should ever ever run Windows. What the fuck? Are they afraid someone will get bored and need to play minesweeper in the middle of voting?

Shit, if a monkey can figure it out, it's possible the average American voter might also be able to (eventually) crack that "code".

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