Author Kitty Kelly's new book The Family: The Real Story of the Bush Dynasty has generated a considerable amount of media buzz, in part because it contains a number of extremely controversial allegations, including the contention that George W. Bush took cocaine at Camp David when his father was president. What are some of the book's other shocking revelations?

* George W. Bush's grandfather, Prescott Bush, was a cock-gobbling, cross-dressing, bisexual Nazi with strong submissive tendencies and a deep love of abortions.

* Tests have revealed that the president's mother, Barbara Bush, is a ruthless cunt with frozen pile of shit in the place where her heart should be.

* The president and his wife actually had triplets, not twins. But when one of the children was born retarded, Laura Bush cut the baby into bite-sized pieces, cooked her over a fire made from the burning of all records of the child's existence, and served her to the homeless on Thanksgiving.

* George H.W. Bush is an impotent, scat-obsessed, glue-huffing war hero, who enjoys nothing more than taking a long, slow, messy slurp on the ass of a ten-dollar-a-night hooker.

* A secret CIA file contains DNA evidence that proves conclusively that it was actually the president's brother, Neil Bush, who shot JR.

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