STANTON'S LEG

Stanton had a wonderful leg. It was a live leg but with custom prosthetics. There was a door on his thigh; plastic in thigh flesh. Inside the door he kept a key and some gum. When he ran it felt like a bulging pocket.

There was a cap over his ankle bone that contained both a watch and compass. The water in the compass centrifuged as he ran and made the leg feel faster.

On the balls of his feet he had magnets that automatically repelled anything that was attractable. This allowed him to hover like a witch or a ghost or a showboat vampire.

One time Stanton was walking from the shopping center to his car when someone yelled his name from the nearby woods. He walked closer to the voice only to find nothing. So, he walked into the woods.

"Stanton, c'mere. I got something cool to show you."

The further he walked into the woods the more ghostly the voice sounded.

"Stanton, what's the difference between a woods and a forest?"
"I don't know."

Then, all the leaves fell from the trees like a woman disrobing all at once and it didn't scare Stanton as much as make him feel awkward.

"Woods, I feel uncomfortable. It is only July."

Stanton's girlfriend ran up to him. She worked out alot.

"Stanton, who are you talking to?"
"Woods."
"I got something for your thigh drawer."
"I got something for your thigh drawer."

And he ignored the woods and the woods couldn't get the leaves back on the branches and became sorely embarassed for four months.

***