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"INTERVIEW:" Samuel L. Jackson
page 3 of 4.

rock lottery

kp: You beat them up?
OR:
Yes. They deserve to die, and I hope they burn in hell.

kp: Really?!
CH:
Yes! They deserved to die! AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!

kp: Wow. That's...intense.
J:
If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.

kp: It sounds like fame has put you under a lot of pressure.
J:
I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' motherfucker, motherfucker!

kp: Are you a religious person?
MH:
Yes, I'm a Mormon. That's why I just smoked a pack of Newport and drank three vodka tonics.

kp: Right. So how do you cope?
H:
Watching 'World's Most Dangerous Police Chases' comes in handy.

kp: Pardon?
OR:
Hey, look at me when I'm talking to you, motherfucker.

kp: I didn't understand the thing about police chases.
H:
You know what they say. You're either SWAT or you're not.

kp: I never heard that before. So you’re “SWAT”?
Z:
Hey, all brothers don't know how to use guns, you racist motherfucker.

kp: That’s not what I meant.
Z:
Say it! SAY IT!

kp: Say what?
Z:
You were going to call me a nigger, weren't you?

kp: NO!
Z:
Yes you were! What were you gonna call me?

kp: I wasn’t going to call you anything.
OR:
My ass may be dumb, but I ain't no dumbass.

kp: I'm feeling a little dizzy.
EM:
Sort of like the same sensation you get after sex.

kp: No, that's not it.
MH:
You foxy bitch.

kp: What are you doing? Um,...your pants...?
OR:
I got some "for-your-eyes-only" shit to show you.

kp: I don't know what you're thinking, but--
MH:
I hope not, 'cause I'm thinking how much my balls hurt.

***

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PAGE ONE
INTERVIEW: Calvin Johnson
FEATURE: Rock Lottery Returns
FEATURE: Dear Extreme Makeover
FEATURE: You're Hired!
FEATURE: Why I Switched...
FEATURE: Eduardo Sanchez: MFG
FEATURE: Samuel L. Jackson
FEATURE: More Follow-Ups to one-Hit Wonders
COLUMN: Corn Mo's Tales of Wonder
COLUMN: Video Fun with Tim and Eric
COLUMN: Filthy Celebrity Imposter
MUSIC: News + Reviews
MUSIC: Adam interviews Jordan Knight
MUSIC: SadBanjo interviews Gold Hick
 

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