THE SURFING JOB

There was this fellow who made sure his surfers surfed every day.

"The waves are good today. Surf!"

Some didn't want to surf. They moped around on the tasty waves.

"What's wrong, Higgins? Don't feel like surfing today?"
"Yes. Of course I do."
"Because I know a lot of surfers waiting with boards who would love to take your place."

And this was how it went; surfing 12 hours a day, sometimes 2 hours then break, then 4 hours, then break. One day, a surfer came over to the lifeguard stand and said, "I don't think I want to surf anymore."

He walked away from the ocean onto the grass and onto the parking lot. He got into his VW van and drove around the island and got a fishing job. He worked his way up to captain.

Sometimes he waves at his old boss from his dingy from time to time with anger and cordiality.

***

THE SURFING JOB, PART TWO

When the orcas came to check on the surfers, they realized Higgins wasn't there. They became upset and decided to not splash about, creating the waves needed for the surfers (for the moon had slipped out of orbit, so the tides were non-existent).

The sad orcas swam aimlessly until one was harpooned and pulled away from the rest. The other orcas tried biting at the spear but kept slipping off it. When the harpoon tugging stopped, the answers came.

"Hello, orcas!" yelled Captain Higgins. "I'm just vying for a little attention. I got you some chum (dead fish soup) for you stomachs and whistles for your blowholes!"

The harpooned whale was angry only for a little while because foolish pranks are usually forgiven in the ocean.

***