Bush is a mushroom cloud laying motherfucker, motherfuckker
Did anyone hear that George W. Bush was at a dinner and was joking about not being able to find Weapons of Mass destruction?

"Those weapons of mass destruction have to be here somewhere," Bush joshed as he narrated a slide show of him looking behind furniture, as if hunting for them.

"Nope, no weapons over there. Maybe under here..."

That would be like Clinton saying, "Hey when did I put that chubby Jewish chick? You know the one who goes down on my cock? Where the heck could she be?"

Except that Monica Lewinsky didn't (to my knowledge) ever kill 500 Americans, or 10000 Iraqis.

Still, kudos to Bush for trying out such edgy material, that shit would kill at Laffys in Hoboken.

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Hey Fiona Apple!
Remember when you made that sexy sexy video? The one where you were sexy in the water, then sexy on the floor and then sexy sexy sexy in the kitchen? And then you took off ALMOST ALL of your clothes, but then right before you turned around the camera panned away... So America was collectively like: "Daaaag!"

But then you tried to make a non-sexy video to follow up, and you had that album with like 1000 words in the title. So I had to go into Tower Records, and I couldn't find it, so I asked the clerk. And the clerk was all "Ok what's the title" and I'm all, "Ummmmmm..."

And then America was collectively like: "We need ze tits Fiona. We NEED zem! NOW! Now you show us ze tits again, and we will buy ze album again."

But you didn't. So they didn't.

Well, Fiona, America has chewed me up and spit me out too. So call me.

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