Okay. I admit it. I went to Supercuts. I got a sort of shitty over-the-ears/Beatles/70's kind of cut. I was going for something different, but this is what the highly trained Supercuts professional decided would look best on me.

When I got home, my roomate took one look and said, "Nicholas Bradford called. He wants his haircut back!" Then he laughed for, like, 20 minutes. He was, of course, referring to the character that Adam Rich made popular on TV's "Eight is Enough".

What a dick.

I went to my room, and sure enough there was a message on my answering machine from Nicholas Bradford! No, not Adam Rich--the character he portrayed had somehow achieved conciousness and given me a phone call! The message went something like this:

"Hey this is Nick. Seriously, man, I need my haircut back. These stupid cunts I live with won't shut the fuck up about it--and that's just Willie Aames and Van Patten. Listen, I'm just an etheral 11-year-old, brought to life by my own sheer force of will. So I'm not gonna kiss your ass or threaten to kick it. I need my haircut back. In a few years I'll be doing coke and sporting a dangly earring--you can have it back then. Tubular, bro!"

I thought about it and bleached my bangs. Fuck yeah!

***