This kid was like unbelievable, always taking orders from his sister. Dana would go, "Don't chew the soap," so he wouldn't chew the soap, and, "Don't lick the cactus," so he wouldn't lick the cactus. She'd also go, "Don't kick my boyfriend in the nuts," so Daniel wouldn't do that, either.

One time, Dana and I had a fight. She yelled and yelled, and Daniel came into the room. I expected Dana to give him the order to leave, but she didn't. She gave no orders at all. So Daniel kicked me in the nuts.

After I broke up with Dana, Daniel would keep trying to kick me in the nuts. I'd run, he'd chase, and eventually he'd get me. I got pretty good at defending my nuts. That was when the sneak attacks started. Daniel got a few clean kicks in that way.

This got really old, really fast.

I should have thought of it earlier, but one day, I wore a cup, and I stood my ground. Daniel kicked me in the nuts, and I kicked him right back. I guess he had a cup, too, because he didn't drop. We must have spent like twenty minutes kicking each other in the nuts that day.

I think there's a picture of it somewhere.

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