home whats new newsletter dear kitten favorites shop archives

Tales of Wonder
by Corn Mo

New stories every month!

Dave Works Hard

Dave was humpin' it. Really humpin' it. He had tires that were in one room and a need for tires in the other room. So he moved the tires as fast as he could.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

He was humpin' it. Taking a new tire off the rack, spinnin' round, letting go, and letting it thump into the new tire room. "Thirty-six, done," said Dave as he wiped his sweaty eye sockets.

His boss came in and said, "I said I needed two tires by 6:30. Put these back."

Dave was humpin' it. Putting thirty-four tires back in their places. "Thirty-four, done," said Dave as he wiped his sweaty eye sockets, again.

Dave was humpin' it in his mind. He never worked in tires his whole life. But he knew how to work his brain. And, he was a self-starter. When you get trapped in a dungeon there is little work to be done in your brain. The year was 1389 and he had no idea what tires were. But, when you have nothing to do but astral project yourself into the future, you learn what tires are and you count them.

***

Kittenpants
PAGE ONE
INTERVIEW: Eugene Mirman
FEATURE: Predictions for the Third Season of 24
FEATURE: Celebrity Wills
FEATURE: Eminem
FEATURE: So Your Daughter Wants a Boob Job
FEATURE: Fables of the Reconstruction
FEATURE: Worst Birthday Ever
COLUMN: Music News + Reviews
COLUMN: Corn Mo's Tales of Wonder
COLUMN: Mostly...by Franky Pelvis
COLUMN: Video Fun with Tim and Eric
COLUMN: Filthy Celebrity Imposter
 

Meet the KP Staff
Join the KP Army!
Submit an Article
Ask a Question
New! Shop Kittenpants