Let's be frank: Lily Tomlin is a sultry goddess that's taken the form of comedic genius. She's entertained and astounded audiences for decades with her character driven stage shows, television specials, and film performances. However, we've done some investigating, and it turns out that our dear Mrs. Tomlin has some cute quirks that remind us all that fame doesn't make anyone less human. Putting fame in perspective, let's take a look at The Good, The Bad, The Tomlin...

The Good	The Bad
Wonderful with children.	Extremely abusive to puppies and kittens.
One of the most groundbreaking female comedians of all time.	Diet consists soley of Del Taco Macho Burritos
Staunch advocate of Women's Rights.	Really into contemporary Reggae.
Lives a modest lifestyle despite her wealth.	Hates "them damn job stealin' immigrants".
Looks you in the eye when speaking to you, always gives a firm handshake.	Can't throw a football for shit.
Never lost a game of Monopoly.	Cheats at Monopoly.
Has travelled on all 7 Continents.	Believes genocide is "not without it's merits."
Only uses bio-degradable products.	Has a mantle made entirely of bald eagle and panda bones.
Voted "Most Likely To Succeed" by her peers in High School.	Kidnapped a boy at a liquor store.
Treats handi-capped people with respect and dignity.	Single-handedly masterminded September 11th.
Once held a sit-in at the L.A. County Zoo for the humane treatment of animals.	Literally eats babies.
Loves the great outdoors.	Loves THE GREAT OUTDOORS
Appreciates the simpler things in life.	Shits in a small hole she dug in her lawn and wipes with weathered cardboard.
Appeared on three episodes of "Saturday Night Live".	Appeared on three episodes of "Full House".
Overcame her childhood stagefright.	Dabney Coleman has a restraining order against her.
Enjoys giving oral sex.	Enjoys receiving oral sex.
The author of several wildly entertaining and successful books.	Once took it from both sides for half a gram of coke.

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