What most people fail to realize is that your nickname doesn’t reflect who you are so much as reflect who your friends think you are. And that’s far more important. You may not like what you end up with, but that’s tough. If your friends like it, it’ll stick.

I probably wouldn’t have picked "Beaver Boy" as a nickname for myself, but it was given to me with love (or was he just being a smart-ass?) so I’ll just have to suck it up. Something in me, something I’m blissfully unaware of, apparently screams out “Beaver Boy” to my friends. So just who the hell do I think I am to disagree with them?

Besides, if we could choose our own nicknames then we’d all pick "Ace" or "Doc", and then what's the point?

So get out there, get your new identity, and start your new life. Start giving all your friends nicknames until one of them returns the favor. And here’s hoping you don’t end up with a real boner of a nickname. Hey, "Boner" would be a good one (for a dick).

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