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X-Mans 3
by kittenpants

magic shell

Dear Movie "bigshots":

I liked your movie about mutateds called "X-Mans-2". I have some ideas about a Sequel called "X-Mans 3: This Time It's Personal." Because this time it does get personal.

First of all, there should be a love story between German Hoppy guy and Morpheus because they are both blue. If German Hoppy doesn't like the way Morpheus looks, she can just morph into a pretty lady, or a pretty dude - whatever Hoppy is into. And if she doesn't like doing it on a bed, he can pop her over to the floor--no problem!

I also think Magic Shell should be in more of the scenes. He has that cool steel skeleton that can protect him from the bad mutateds and the army guys. He's like the Hulk, but more magic and less green. And when he gets cold--watch out! His Magic Shell freezes up and he is PISSED!

Anyway, I was thinking that maybe this time the Xpeople can run for office so that the government will stop trying to make them illegal and then people will say "If the mutateds can be president then they might be good, also." I think it could make a good story and then Magento and Dr. X will have a breakdance fight at the end and when Dr. X gets out of the wheelchair to do the running man, he will totally score and they will elect him president. And then maybe Coldy will make ice sculptures for the inaugural ball and Wolverine will just stand around getting all scratchy at people who he doesn't like, like the guy with the "feel cools" sunglasses on. He always wears those (even at night!!). But Wolverine is a good Xman because he saved Rogue that one time when she was being hurt by Magento. But even though Magento is sometimes bad, just remember that he is also a mutated and that makes him an Xman. He probably graduated with honors at Xschool because he's real smart and he can probably make his pen write the answers without touching it in his hand. So if you like these ideas for the sequel, I think we should talk about my ideas for Charlie's Angels 3: Fucking Angels Rule, Big Time!!"

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Kittenpants
PAGE ONE
INTERVIEW: TMBG's John Flansburgh
INTERVIEW: DEVO's Gerald Casale
FEATURE: Say What?
FEATURE: The Royal "I"
FEATURE: American Idle
FEATURE: Wedding Vows
FEATURE: Heroes and Villains
FEATURE: This Week
FEATURE: Abortions and You
FEATURE: X-Mans 3
COLUMN: Corn Mo's Tales of Wonder
COLUMN: Music News + Reviews
COMICS: Uncle Sloppy's "Life at 8"
COMICS: ElfButter's "Signs"
COMICS: SweetBoyGuy's "Triangle & Mac"
 

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