...PROS

Kids say the darnedest things. If you could remove your child's voice box until he can speak coherently, then, obviously, go ahead and do that! Unfortunately, ripping out vocal cords and whipping your child senseless with them is generally frowned upon. Until the day I rule the Earth and the surrounding planets, you'll have to abort your child to save yourself from the nightmare of hearing him talk.

Abortion CONS

You'll be denied years of love from your child, watching him grow as you mold him into your image and use him to fill that empty void you call your life. You'll be left in a dark corner, crying yourself to sleep, and writing angsty poetry on the internet.

Ask yourself, "What if I was aborted?" If I had been aborted, where would we be now? Certainly not reading this informative and highly entertaining article about abortion. (Nevermind. See "PROS").

Children can add much-needed man power to your army. I mean, you need all the help you can get. At this point, your army consists only of your cat and a coat hanger (which, coincidentally, can be used for abortions!).

A baby can be catapulted long distances, or used in skeet shooting. In fact, "Baby Skeet" will become an official event in the next Summer Olympics. Keep this in mind.

Really, what do I know? Don't listen to anything I say. It's an important issue and you really shouldn't be reading a humor website for advice.

If this article has angered you and you decide to add my name and eMail address to every gay porn site on the internet, well, guess what: I already beat you to it.

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