CORN MO'S EUROPEAN TOUR DIARY

Saturday, August 3: American Asshole
I'm in Friedrichshaufen, Germany, right now and I'm eating breakfast. This old guy sees me in my MÖTLEY CRÜE shirt. He thinks I'm German and tells me they are not so shocking in the States and that he has a "property of Alcatraz" shirt and it scares people in San Francisco and that Ozzy is more shocking cause he bit the head off of a chicken and I'm so fucking ready to tell this desperate cry for attention to shut the fuck up but I feel it's better to pretend I don't understand him.

These German typewriters are so fucked up. The y and z are displaced and I can have umlats and these ßßßßßµµµµµöäü

During our street show, Clarke did a "Sieg Heil" but didn't realize it until after the show.

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Sunday, August 4: Yesterday and the Day Before
So far today sucks except for breakfast. I can't fucking talk right. I need to get some throat spray but everything is closed.

Yesterday: I saw Stephan perform. He did "Country Roads" in front of a clothing store. It sounded very nice. Two songs street performers do in this country are "Country Roads" and "Knockin' On Heaven's Door".

I did some errands and then saw it was about to rain. We got excited at the prospect of not doing shows tonight because we were going to have to perform on the street and not the bandshell. Plus, I wanted to see one of the tent shows--tonight was some Shakespeare shit with little boats. I wish there were festivals like this in the States but I don't think it would work. Too many folks would rather see dipshits doing covers of "Margaritaville" or a popular young country act than some fancy pants horseshit.

Friday: I played "Freebird" in the middle of the set. Some people left-about 5 out of 100. Those that stayed liked it and at the end of the 2nd show I played "My Epilady" and killed. I only brought 3 CDs but I sold all of them. It made me feel really good.

Stefan, the Italian with the German accent, the metal folk singer, says:

"Heavy Metal I bow down to you! You should sing in a German metal band. But your hair looks like shit. You need to get your roots done and teased a little. You know who you remind me of? 'You took the words right out of my mouth' Meatloaf right?"

"I love Meatloaf."

"Metal is big here."

"Like Klaus Meine?"

"Klaus Meine likes a fist up his ass!"

I want to do a rock musical here. Real bad.

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