People watch the evening news for a lot of reasons. Some like keeping up-to-date with the current events. Some like the sports. Personally, I don't care about any of that. When I watch the news, I am keeping tabs.

You see, a lot of people don't know about what goes on behind the scenes in TV news, or more accurately, beyond the scenes. You know when they've got a news crew out in the city covering a story? You see those people in the background? Those people are gang members, and I am one of them.

We're not "gangs" in the stereotypical sense of the word. We're not into drugs, or anything like that (Certainly not!). We're just competitive, really; but we're not a bunch of pansies. We're a ruthless pack of tough-as-nails guys and gals, and we're not afraid to kick the crap out of anyone who gets in our way.

How it works is simple: over the years, the city has been broken into various "turfs". We each have our own areas to preside over, and we know where we’ll be trampled on if we show so much as a foot on camera. Me and Jimmy, we have the West side, near the mall.

It's kind of a hard process to learn, but we all have scanners in our cars. We tune them to the signal of the TV crew vans or helicopters, find out where they're going, and head out there, fast. Once you arrive, you have to work your way up, blending into a crowd.

Then there is an etiquette to getting yourself on screen and staying there. If you're at a ball game that your home team has just won, it's perfectly fine to go nuts, scream and yell, and behave like an ass. But if you're at a dignitary's funeral or an elementary school, it's usually best just to walk by like a disinterested pedestrian. As long as you’re on camera, it counts.

When you get home at night, you check your tapes. Even if you're not certain that you were seen, you tape every station, just in case. Keep in mind that most television stations send out a couple of different crews each day, but don't run every story they shoot. Some days, I can rack up a bunch of sightings; others, even if I think I've had a good day, are a complete bust.

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