The following celebrity sightings are real.

Play Time: Jennifer Grey and Matthew Broderick in Love
I was 10 or 11 years old and walked out of a theater after seeing some play on Broadway (maybe "Anything Goes"?). Right behind us is Jennifer Grey and Matthew Broderick and they were holding hands and soooo in love. My sister was excited because it was "Ferris Bueller", but I just kept yelling "WOLVERINES!!!" until my mom made me stop.

I Just Offered Bentley a Dorito
I was waiting for my sister to finish her bar shift when the guy who played Bentley on "The Jeffersons" walks in and asks if they are still serving dinner. The kitchen just closed, so I offered him some of my chips. He passed.

Liv Tyler Might be Stalking Me
The first time I saw Liv Tyler was when I was coming out of a movie theater. The second time I saw Liv Tyler I was walking past Crunch, and as she walked out the door, she bumped into me. The third time this happens we are going to get married.

Cheers and Jeers: Elvis Costello vs Keith Richards
I went to see Tom Waits at the Beacon Theater and right before the show, Elvis Costello enters the theater (as a member of the audience). Everyone starts clapping and yelling and he gets a standing ovation; people are screaming and running up to get his autograph. A few minutes after the room calmed down, Keith Richards walks in (also as a member of the audience). One guy in the back yelled "YO, KEITH!"

I Have Better Seats Than Ethan Hawke
I was at Town Hall to see Merle Haggard and Kris Kristofferson and had just "ok" seats. Ethan Hawke came in with a blonde woman (who I am pretty sure was not Uma) and sat even farther back, behind a pillar.

Ellen Barkin Takes a Sit
I delivered a chair to Ellen Barkin's house and we had to wait while she sat in it to make sure she liked it. My co-workers kept trying to reposition themselves to get a glimpse of her ass.

Michael Stipe Cloak
I was walking around Paris near the Louvre. Ahead of me I notice this crazy (possibly homeless?) guy in a tattered cloak hobbling down the street towards me. As we approached each other I noticed that this cloak was very shiny and purposefully tattered and that the stumbling seemed forced and theatrical.

I am now staring, and therefore unconsciously walking straight towards "Cloaky" who stumbles into me. For a split second we are nose to nose and just as I realize that it is Michael Stipe, some woman comes out of nowhere and grabs him by the arm and drags him into a taxi.

As they are driving away they look out the window at me. I just shrug my shoulders and make a funny face.