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Valentine Gifts
By Personality

The Sadist
Leather Christmas ornament, studded bunny slippers, "Sadism for Dummies."

The Narcissist
Expensive shampoo, nose-hair clippers, subscription to fitness magazine, mirror.

The Anal Retentive
Sticky labels, digital organizer, carpet-stain remover with holster, French maid lingerie, monogrammed bleacher-seat cover.

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Kittenpants
PAGE ONE
INTERVIEW: Todd Barry
"INTERVIEW": Kevin Sorbo
FEATURE: Chris Weber Stay Home!
FEATURE: Possible Follow-Up Songs For One-Hit Wonders
FEATURE: Haiku Time with Huddy
FEATURE: My Celebrity Sightings
FEATURE: The Blowjob, and Other Things I Did with Your Car
FEATURE: Fact Snacks
FEATURE: Things to Say on a First Date
FEATURE: Four Fruits
FEATURE: That's Entertainment?
FEATURE: Nominees for the Worst Idea I had All Year
FEATURE: Valentine Gift Ideas
FEATURE: Signs of Change
COLUMN: Corn Mo's Tales of Wonder
COLUMN: Music News + Reviews
MUSIC: Trachtenburg Family
MUSIC: 5 CDs That I Only Bought To Look Cool
COMICS: Uncle Sloppy's "Abomination Mel"
 
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