Apples

• Keeps intrusive physicians from disrupting your privacy

• Responsible for the discovery of gravity

• Loved by a lonesome wanderer named Johnny

• Have long since been forgiven for man's downfall

Oranges

• No matter how much effort involved, cannot be rhymed with

• Can be used effectively in knock-knock jokes (i.e. replaces "aren't" in "Aren't you going to open the door?")

• Often requires some concentration

• Is thought to, but really has nothing to do with Tang

Bananas

• Loved by mammals both hairy and non-hairy (though more so by the hairy ones)

• Can lead to slippage and thus, laughter

• A Woody Allen classic

• Women with unusual Spanish names wear them atop their heads

Pears

• Ideal body shape of women (see: films from 1935 to 1956)

• Spelled differently from "pairs", but not by very much

• Is in class Magnoliopsida, order Rosales, and family Rosaceae, all of which are hard to spell

• Can often be found near partridges