May 1, 1993
How can two nostrils on the same nose be so different?! I swear my nostrils either hate me or hate each other, because one will be stuffed up and the other will be clear or one will be whistling and the other will be bleeding. It's as if one doesn't even care that the other exists!

I guess, when you think about it, Mudhoney and the Fastbacks are kind of like two brilliant nostrils on one really incredible nose.

October 11, 1993
I went and saw JURASSIC PARK again. This time I went with Buzz Osbourne, who hadn't seen it yet. We were sharing some wings at T.G.I. Friday's last Friday, and I was like, "You just bit into that wing like a raptor."

Then he said, "What's a raptor?"

Needless to say, I freaked out. "What's a raptor?" I repeated. "You mean to tell me you haven't seen Michael Crichton's vision finally brought to the big screen?"

He said that Mike Patton told him it sucked, so I said something about how Mike Patton sucks and assured him that he'd love it, which he totally did.

I hope he doesn't tell Mike Patton that I said he sucked. I have to see him at Jerry Cantrell's birthday party next weekend and that would be so uncomfortable!!!

My stomach hurts.