10 New Edible Products for Kids

1. Edible Lunch Bags in Kosher Berry and Hawaiian Ham

2. Edible Sand (safe for diabetics)

3. Edible String-Cheese Scooter with Edible Pretzel Helmet

4. Edible Animal Pop-Star Glitter-Glue MedAlert Bracelets

5. Edible Migrant Ant Farmworkers in an Edible Ant Farm Subsidized by Edible Federal Tax Dollars Set Aside by an Edible Agricultural Appropriations Ant Committee Made up of Edible Congressants Dependent on Edible Campaign Contributions from Edible International Ant Agribusinesses Run by Edible White-Collar Ant Managers Married to Edible Ant Spouses Who Shop at Edible Ant Grocery Stores for Edible Miniature Ant Fruits and Vegetables Modified by Edible Ant Geneticists and Picked by Edible Migrant Ant Farmworkers Sickened by Edible Pesticides Sprayed by Edible Ant Crop Dusters Flown by Edible Ant Pilots Who Used to Fly Edible Ant Military Aircraft Built by Edible Ant Military Aircraft Manufacturers Fulfilling Edible Government Ant Contracts Awarded by an Edible Military Appropriations Ant Committee Made up of Edible Congressants Dependent on Edible Campaign Contributions from Edible International Industrial Ant Manufacturers That Also Happen to Build Edible Ant Farm Equipment for Edible Ant Farms Distributed to Elementary Schools Throughout the Country

6. Edible Ten Commandments (liberal parents'll never know!)

7. Edible Personal Data Assistant with Edible Vegetarian Jerky Case (comes with edible support staff)

8. Edible Peel-and-Eat Shoes

9. Edible Robot Dog with Edible Computer Paper

10. Edible Dahmer Action Figures, Refrigerator, and Playset with Free Edible DVD of the Movie