Dear Trauma Rama:
On a family vacation to Florida, my parents were being major hassles and weren't letting me go off anywhere by myself. Finally, on one of the last days of the trip, they said I could go to the beach. I was walking around, enjoying the sun when this major hottie came up and started talking to me. We walked for hours around all the shops near the beach. When we walking there was a truck unloading a bunch of boxes filled with styrofoam cups into a coffee store. My new crush dared me to steal one of the boxes while he hid behind the corner, so of course I did it. When I came back, with the box in hand he asked what I had done. Apparently he'd just asked "You want to go see a movie?" but I thought he'd said, "Go steal those boxes of Styrofoam cups, then bring them back here." It was soooo embarrassing. I'm always doing things like that.

Dear Trauma Rama:
A few days ago, my best friend and I were at the mall when we saw my major crush hanging out with a bunch of his friends. I'm really shy so I didn't know what to do, but went up to him anyway and said "Hi." He turned around and said, "Hey," but I couldn't think of anything more to say. It was really awkward. Luckily a nineteen-foot cylindrical-disc shaped object appeared in the mall and started making strange noises and shooting out beams of light onto the ground. It also started delivering buffalo via a long rope into the food court, where it would release them. That made talking to him a lot easier.

Dear Trauma Rama:
All my friends and I were having a sleep over one night and were watching our all time favorite movie "Grease," when all of the sudden Jamie (my best-friend) asked me if I'd ever had sex before. I told her "No." Everybody giggled because they could tell I was eight months pregnant despite all my efforts to hide it. I was really embarrassed.

Dear Trauma Rama:
At prom this last year was very embarrassing for me. I thought that my date was this total hottie who was on the baseball team and who I'd been crushing on all year. When we arrived at the hotel I discovered that it was only a broom with a balloon taped to the top of it. Apparently I had forgotten to put my contacts in. I spent the next three days locked in my room, shame-ridden, full of homicidal rage.

Dear Trauma Rama:
For school we have to volunteer somewhere for a semester. I chose a nursing home because I like working with people. I was having a lot of fun, until one day when this man yelled at me for not talking to him. I walked over, sat down, and started speaking to him just so he'd calm down. Just then this really cute doctor walked in and sat with the angry old man and me. We all sat there starring at each other. It was very awkward and strange. I eventually fell asleep. When I woke up, I was in a closet. I got up and went home after that.

Dear Trauma Rama:
My mom and I were shopping for tortoise shells for our tortoise, when all of the sudden the gigantic head of Bea Arthur (star of the Emmy-winning "The Golden Girls") floated close to us, beckoning us to feel its warm glow. It offered us a message of peace and joy. After we'd touched it, it disappeared. We'd been fooled into thinking we had seen God. I was mortified!