Below you will find e-mails I sent to the American Center for Journalistic Integrity: SEVENTEEN Magazine. These messages were intended for a section of their magazine entitled "Trauma Rama," wherein their readership contributes stories of embarrassment, woe, and angst (sometimes all three at once!). Unfortunately, my submissions resulted in the receipt of the following e-mail (I'd gone under the guise of Samantha Delahoyde)

From: trauma@seventeen.com
Subject: Re: An Embarrassing Story That Might Or Might Not Have Happened To Me, Dependant Upon Your Sources

Dear Samantha,
Although we appreciate entries to Trauma Rama, we go through about 100 letters a day and would prefer reading stories that are honest. Please continue to mail us stories if they are true.

Thank you,
Seventeen

Following are some of the letters I sent.

Dear Trauma Rama:
Last year was my freshman year and I was sooooo excited. On the first day of school I decided to wear this really great top I'd just bought at the mall with my sister. As I got off the bus and started walking towards my first class, I saw the cutest guy ever. I kept walking, just staring at this hot guy, then all of the sudden I was attacked by a swarm of sheep clothed in small, yet quaint-looking sweaters. It was so humiliating. I'm glad I was in the hospital for eight months.

Dear Trauma Rama:
This summer I was working at a deli to save up enough money to go on a trip to Seattle with my school. I was cutting bread when my crush walked in and wanted to order something. Nobody else was up front so I had to help him. I was so nervous! He didn't notice me from class and just ordered a turkey sandwich. While I was making it for him I tried to think of something to say, but couldn't come up with the courage, so I just turned around and yelled "What? You think you're better than everyone, Mr. Turkey Sandwich?" Then I threw the half-made sandwich at his dog. Oh yeah, his dog was there too.

Dear Trauma Rama:
One time, during volleyball practice, I was serving and wanted to make sure it went well. I hit the ball up and it started to get into play. Everyone thought it was a great serve and they made me captain of the team. I was sooooo embarrassed!