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10 Reasons to Hate the Strokes
by Mennen
  1. Because their haircuts cost more than their guitars
  2. Because the singer is only pretending to be on heroin.
  3. Because Loverboy could kick their asses in a fight. And I mean present day Loverboy--you know they’re all 45 years old and weigh like 300 pounds each.
  4. Because their Dad is paying me to.
  5. Because at least the Hives are Swedish.
  6. Because they still haven’t gotten that Diesel Jeans endorsement they’ve been praying for.
  7. Because their feature in TEEN BEAT magazine was distracting me from the “inside Lance Bass” article.
  8. Because they stole The Vines’ look. (See next issue’s “10 Reasons to Hate The Vines”)
  9. Because I’m not from Europe.
  10. They’re not Night Ranger…not even close.
Kittenpants
PAGE ONE
INTERVIEW: Bruce Campbell (reprint!)
FEATURE: Corn Mo: It's All Part of His Rock 'n Roll Fantasy
FEATURE: Ask Mr. Lawyer
FEATURE: Trauma Rama
FEATURE: What's In/What's Out 2002
FEATURE: Concise Advice
FEATURE: Greatest American Gyro
FEATURE: 10 Reasons to Hate the Strokes
FEATURE: Open Letter to a Soundman
FEATURE: If My Mom Wrote A Sex Advice Column
FEATURE: Rejected Sequels to IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE
COLUMN: Corn Mo's Tales of Wonder
COLUMN: Music News + Reviews
COLUMN: Snack Monkey
COMICS: Uncle Sloppy's "Die Hipster Scum"
 
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