I once asked a guy at F.A.O. Schwartz what it’s like to hear “Welcome to our World of Toys” all day every day. He claimed that after a while one blocks it out and then you don’t hear it any more. I’ve never been able to block out Robert Plant.

I try to be brave and face the song. Remember that “Hotel California” is a spooky ghost story. Imagine a cracky Whitney driving all night to Atlantic City, hitting the slots and then stepping up to the karaoke mike and belting out “I Will Always Love You”. As she passes out she knows she’s a diva.

People say “Freebird” is funny. I don’t think it’s funny. “My Heart Will Go On” is like hanging out with a nasty older relative. “American Pie" is a town with only stupid people. “Celebration” is a driller killer chasing me out the door.

It takes years to build that kind of relationship. I know I will never know Led Zeppelin like you do, Dave. I can name all the members but I never bought any albums. I often think that you play it just for me, in the hopes that one day I’ll wake up and finally get it. Then we could be a team, skip third period study, go behind the shop and smoke a fattie.

Your friend,
Wilder