HANDS
Eat your hands so that I can try out my new mechanical hands on a real person and you can give me notes on how to improve my invention. I put a cheesecloth in your last sandwich so that you hands will get caught in your throat and we can cut them out later and they'll be unscathed by your stomach acid.

I love you. I love my work.

GET IT ON
When 2 robots meet for the first time they always download each other’s bio sheets. One robot, TR-1, rewrote his bio sheet to say,

“Built 1813. Kept in the attic from 1820 ‘til 2036. Listens to recordings of Ben Franklin and other books on tape. Loves trilogies. Programmed to enjoy numbers. Eats out, often.”

Other robots get jammed while filtering the 1’s and 0’s of TR-1’s bio sheet and soon burn from the inside out. TR-1 went to LA and became Steve. Steve is a nobody who keeps to himself until RUSH comes to town. He has a depressed heart and draws pictures of robots from memory.

He will be happy in two years.