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That's Entertainment III:
More TV Shows We'll Put On the Air
(As Soon As They Let Us)

by Uncle Sloppy and kittenpants

The Class of Incest High
A hot new Peter Engel production set in the Appalachian mountains where the 300+ students of the local high school come from only three families. Follow the loves, jealousies, and friendly competitions of this lovable bunch of sex-starved rascals.

This week: Cletus and Shep Jr. double date-rape their sister/cousin Lerlene with hilarious results.

Who the Fuck Are You?
A kooky "Brit-com" about 3 London flatmates who live next door to a chemical plant. The fumes have eroded their short-term memory causing them to constantly scare the shit out of one another when they enter the living room, and prompting the enormously popular catch-phrase "Who the fuck are you?!!"

This week: Shirley walks in on Clive having sex with Wendy on the couch. Not recognizing Clive, Shirley mistakes him for a rapist and stabs him to death with a fingernail file. She and Wendy eventually find a new roommate, then immediately forget who he is, and all is back to "normal".

Stiles
Teen Wolf sidekick, Jerry "Stiles" Levine in a one-man show in which he orchestrates hidden camera spoofs, movie-parody goofs, and the occasional "urban surfing" on minivan roofs.

This week: Special guest, his Teen Wolf co-star, "Boof"!

America's Funniest Home Molestations
A home video clip show where families air the footage secretly recorded as evidence to send an abusive family member to jail. Host Dave Coulier provides side-splitting voiceover commentary that sends the audience into hysterics as they vote for their favorite clip. Winning families receive $10,000 and three years of free family counseling.

This week: The Williams family of Arkadelphia, AR, go for the gold with footage of little Billy's game of "Hide in the Cellar" with his stepfather, Ron. Dave Coulier's Porky Pig impression adds a hilarious touch.

Goth Jeopardy
A new twist on an old classic: Host Peter Murphy quizzes Hot Topic employees on trivia related to the music, fashion, and lifestyle of the irrepressible Goth subculture.

This week: Kat, a 19-year-old body piercing enthusiast is disqualified when she forgets to phrase the answer "Sisters of Mercy" in the form of a question.

Kittenpants
PAGE ONE
INTERVIEW: Knife Skills
FEATURE: That's Entertainment III
FEATURE: How I Solve All My Problems
FEATURE: Insulting Intelligents
FEATURE: Coogan
FEATURE: I H8 VNITYPL8S
FEATURE: Rejected Knock Knock Jokes
COLUMN: Corn Mo's Tales of Wonder
COLUMN: Music News + Reviews
QUIZ: APESHIT
COMICS: Li'l Stinker
 
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