Dear John Crampton,
We here at Poemwriters.com would love to inform you that your poem Another Day in the Shitbank has been selected by our top poem readers as a finalist in our $15,000.00 grand prize contest.

Another Day in the Shitbank has been chosen because of its artistic integrity and its progressive voice. Our judges are world renowned for reading and recognizing great poetry. Good luck in the contest John Crampton.

As a special offer to our finalists, they can hang their poems up for everyone to see. That’s right John Crampton; your poem Another Day in the Shitbank will be burned by a real professional into a beautifully finished oak plaque. Poemwriters.com is willing to let you get first grabs at this amazing plaque. And because your poem Another Day in the Shitbank has been selected as a finalist, Poemwriters.com will let you have this wonderful plaque for only $32.99. (No shipping and handling)

Please fill out the attached order form in order to receive a copy of your poem burned onto a beautiful oak plaque.

Thank you for your great poetry,
Gary Pluemin
President, Poemwriters.com

Dear Gary Pluemin,
Thank you again! Wow, are people enjoying my poem? Could you forward all of the feedback to me? I’d really like to know what these judges have to say.

Wow. I’m just in shock. I don’t know what to say. Thank you for selecting my poem AGAIN. So, what, is there a random drawing? You select all of the finalists on merit and then randomly draw one for the prize or something?

Well, since everyone seems to like my poem, I guess I should like it enough to buy a plaque. So I will. That will give people something to talk about when they’re over. It’s a great idea, putting poems on plaques. You should give the guy a raise who thought of it.

Anyway, I got to get going. I won’t be able to stop hoping they FINALLY draw my name. I know it’s shallow, but I could really use the money!

Thank you again!
John Crampton
P.S. I’ve attached the order form for my plaque.

Dear John Crampton,
Thank you for your order. Attached to the box are a receipt and proof of delivery. If you have any problems, email us at SERVICES@POEMWRITERS.COM

For more great products featuring our thousands of talented poets. Visit our website at www.poemwriters.com

Thank you for you order,
Poemwriters.com

Dear Gary,
No problem. I have a couple more poems in the works that I’m planning on submitting. I can’t wait to hear what your world-renowned poetry readers think of them.

Have a good day, man.

See ya,
John Crampton

Reprinted with permission from Haypenny.com.