I get to the school at 4:00 AM, a full four hours before the start of the school day. I know I have no business arriving this early, but I can't wait to get a look at the famous halls of Degrassi High. I mean, Jesus Christopher Christ, this is the Degrassi High and I am Substitute Principal-ing for the Mr. Chris Christopher Raditch!

To my surprise the door to the school is locked. Damn! I'm the Substitute Principal! Why didn't I get the key? I consider busting through the glass, but quickly dismiss the idea when I realize that this would likely become the focus of my subplot. And a school break in, while quite serious and relatively unplodded ground for the successful television series, is not very exciting and more importantly, not liable to lead to the two-part episode or eventual recurring character role that I am hoping to score.

I decide to wait for someone to arrive. I figure I can spend the extra time contemplating the details of my story arc.

Wait! Who will be the first to arrive? Most likely a faculty member. When in Degrassi history am I? It suddenly becomes quite clear to me that I have no idea what term it is and therefore no clue as to what stage of their development the characters will be.

Is this term four, a new beginning and a new building for the students of Degrassi Junior High? In that case it isn't ridiculous to assume that Ms. Karen Avery, the kind hearted, advice giving, supposed-lesbian will be the first to arrive and unlock the door for me. We'll chat, figure out a way to quell these lesbo rumors, become fast friends and then I'll talk her out of quitting at the end of the term.

Could it be term five, when Dwayne finds out he has HIV, L.D. has cancer and Erica gets her abortion? If so there's no reason why Mr. Cardone, the foul-mouthed, pig-headed, date raping, substitute teacher won't be the one to let me in. Chances are that Mr. Cardone--who at this very moment I realize is either someone I made up, or a character from Sweet Valley High--feels the need to arrive early in order to prove his loyalty to a school district that has given him another chance to teach.

Oh! It will likely be Mr. Webster, the ol' crank who made everyone take a more difficult version of his out-dated science test. Poor Alex was only trying to impress Tessa by giving her a copy of the test that Mr. Webster had been administering for years. Before long everyone in the class had a copy of the exam and an "A." Silly Alex! Too bad Tessa doesn't like double geek burgers with cheese! Oh Tessa. Tessa! Sweet Tessa...