Three Stories of Werewolves.

DARCI
Once an old woman sat down to dinner which was a plate of boiled turnips. She enjoyed them and afterwards threw her copy of "Wet, Hot American Summer" into the fireplace where the terrible, burning- plastic smell flew up the chimney. By dinnertime the next day, she ruled the city of Danzig which in some circles of belief meant soon the world. 

Ten years later, to the day, the world celebrated "Keith Gordon Day" which belonged to a man who the old woman had had sexual relations with the night before he had hunted a famous vampire. He was felled and became a vampire himself, and on this day the old woman allows herself to transform into a werewolf and howl for her lover until the royal dinner is served.

GENTLE BEN
One day, Clint Howard chopped down a tree and only a clever few heard it.

GENTLE MEN
One day, Andy Griffith called Clint Howard "Opie".  He didn't flinch at the mistake, keeping a steady hand until a small kitty pawed at the first domino, wrecking an hour's worth of work. Two hours later at lunchtime, he found some fur in his tuna sandwich.