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Mountain Dew
CODE RED

So with all of these conflicting associations, figuring out if Mountain Dew: CODE RED is a worthy product was not an easy task. So I decided to drink it. Well, it, um, tasted like Mountain Dew with some cherry syrup. As simple as that. All this crap about CODE RED like it's some huge, fucking, crazy-ass, danger-filled, fight-for-your-life, adrenaline-surging, heart-pumping, living-on-the-edge adventure is a bunch of marketing malarky. They should just call it Cherry Mountain Dew and spare us the Generation X targeting strategy, which we Gen X'ers see right through anyway.

I give Mountain Dew: CODE RED a B for taste, and an F for playing with my emotions.

***

Wow! Your reviews are really thorough--and passionate! Let's be clear, though. That whole period-masturbating-Final Fantasy thing is all yours - not to be confused with my point, which was simply that I'd like to explore the possibility of beverages that turn your pee neon colors - like the sweat in those Gatorade commercials. That would be rad.

And, for the record, my second point was just that it tasted "okay." I think from your review, you agree. Regretfully, I never allowed myself to imagine the fantastic Star Wars scenario that you suggest, or the RUSH video.

PEPSICO take note: snagging RUSH for a commercial would tie in nicely with your "rush of cherry flavor" slogan. Or even better: Patrick Swayze and C. Thomas Howell team up to promote Mountain Dew: RED DAWN.

Dare to dream...
~kittenpants~

P.S. Wolverines!

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INTERVIEW: Gary Gygax 
MUSIC: News + Reviews
FEATURE: The Diary Excerpts...of an Unnamed Character
FEATURE: My Best Friend's Wetting
COLUMN: Tales of Wonder
COLUMN: Snack Monkey
POLL: Kp is Insecure
COMICS: Story Time with Aunt Marie
COMICS: Hippies Are Dumb II
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