Did you say, "Sprite"? Did you have a Sprite in your hands?

"No! I had a beer," I say as rub my face in anguish with my "clean" hand.

Maybe she'll think saying Sprite is funny because that looks more like pee-pee. Well, no, beer does. Why do you do this, again?

"Someone must have been wearing Polo. It gives me an allergic reaction that makes my bladder give out. I don't know why."

Oh yeah. How did you figure out it was Polo?

"I sprayed some on at Dillard's once and messed the floor. Did you know they use real cops there?"

Really? Hold on. I gotta go to the bathroom. I'll be back.

"Okay."