It's taken years of test driving to finally see that cars and boys have a lot in common. Much in the way dogs resemble their owners, man and machine are more alike than you might think.

I guess my approach to buying a car has always been parallel to dating. I dreamed about getting the cutest, smartest, most fun (and most reliable) one, but would settle for one that doesn't suffer constant breakdowns, or cost too much--basically just gets me where I need to go (if you know what I mean).

This was all too apparent in my most recent car purchase. I picked a used car, but with low mileage, thinking that it had been treated well and still had something to give. As in past relationships, it eventually proved to be a constant disappointment, and a colossal waste of time. I became angry at myself for getting involved.

Oh, sure - at first, it was true love. There were pet names and sweet talk. We went everywhere together - dinners, movies, the beach. We took hundreds of pictures and I introduced it to my friends. I had no shame about public displays of affection. I made scores of plans for the future.

It certainly wasn't the cutest, but it wasn't hideous by any means. Sadly, I think that one sentence perfectly describes 9/10ths of the guys I've kissed.

All too soon I realized that with used cars comes all the baggage of previous owners. It may appear okay on the outside, but you don't know what kind of fiddling around the last person did with it's insides. Slowly, the little problems began to surface.

First we stopped going out as much. Then the sweet talk ended, replaced by bargaining, then begging, then swearing, then more begging. I began to make excuses to friends as to why we couldn't meet them for drinks. Even the pet names took a drastic turn, from "Wonder Girl!" to "Death Trap!" and later "Shit Heap!".

Ultimately, maybe I was the one who had a problem committing. I mean, I only placed the ET PHONE HOME bumper sticker in the back window. I wouldn't remove the protective backing and stick it to the bumper. Where was the trust? Had I been burned badly in the past? It's somewhat sad to say that with all I've lost these last few months that I breathe a little easier knowing I still have that bumper sticker. I can live with the loss of the car, the thousands of dollars, and the dignity.

But I love that bumper sticker!