Hello kittenpantsers!

Well, I thought it might swallow me whole, as I became buried in deadlines and unpublished articles.  I've managed to create some breathing room here at the kittenpants office, and have finally put to rest the VERY SPECIAL 1ST ANNIVERSARY KITTENPANTS PRINTED DOUBLE ISSUE!

"But I'm not holding my very own copy!" you may be saying to yourself right now. Yes, that's right. Because I haven't mailed it. The articles are all finished, and it's in the final stages of layout. So I can see a light at the end of this horrendously long, dumb ass tunnel. You didn't request a copy? It's not too late. Just send your name and address to kittenpants@hotmail.com, with the line "I WANTS A COPY!"

This issue that you are currently reading consists of one-half of the new stuff that was published in the printed version. The rest will be published in Issue XI: THE LONELIEST NEWSLETTER, which, since it's already written, will be available in a week or so. Yes you can get all your kittenpants content without having to soil your hands with actual paper*. Yes, the printed issue has stuff you won't see online. And, the online version has stuff you won't see on paper.

One such online-only bit is submitted by a new kittenpants contributor. Please join me in welcoming Adam Liebling from READ Magazine, who has a new column called SNACK MONKEY. In it he reviews candy, snacks, sodas, etc., so that you don't have to! Next time you're in a hurry and you hit the mind-boggling-ly huge snack section of the grocery store, you can thank Adam for allowing you to zero in on what's most important ("The shit Nestle is doing with graham crackers will blow your fucking mind..."). And if you're too lazy to try your own snacks, just drop Adam a line and recommend things for him to try!

Okay. that's it. Enjoy the articles within - relax, get comfortable. Take some time to get to know yourself. Light some candles. Put on the Bootsy Collins album you know you've been hiding. And dig in. Start your brain: it's time to read!!

I think I wet my,
kittenpants

*Also available in hand-stitched Corinthian leather.

P.S. The name "DIAGNOSIS: RETARDED" was submitted by Rhonda Boaz of Denton, TX, and issue XI: "THE LONELIEST NEWSLETTER" was named by Sally Brock of Seattle, WA. They will each be receiving a super fancy one-year anniversary type prize for their efforts. You can win, too. Suggest a name for Issue XII, or send a logo, or both! Actual prizes are given away. And not like the kind your mother gives.