Dear kittenpants:
I have the following list of demands. I want you to print a short article, it may be insulting. It violates no copyright or any other federal or state law, code or restriction. If you choose to ignore or refuse me, the concequence will be as follows.

1(one), I will bombard your provincial little site, newsletter server and the systems of all of your mothers with a barage of undifinable electronic attacks that will make your heads smoke, and will make legion the distress of your webmasters.

2(two), I will deploy upon you an army of unemployed plumbers, and we all know what happens to the pipes when a plumber gets near.

3(three), I will free your helpless, armless and pawless icon. I will allow it to chose it's fate, back to the story from whenst it came. I will hire a very odd sax player to sit on a stool and play some very disturbing sax music while I allow your kitty to undress. I will stand over you, emotionless, as you get on your knees and sob at what you have done. God help you when your humanity returns, if even only in the final moments of your life.

Daniel

Dear Daniel:
Wow. Really, you have a poetic way with threats that I have not seen in a long time. Your talent is apparent; your spelling, not so much. But I digress.

As for the article you want me to publish, I hope it's insulting, and I can't wait to read it. Bring it.

Keep the plumbers away. For serious.
xoxo,
kittenpants