The Fabulous Lives of the Hilton Sisters
So I'm flipping between Video Hits One and E! all weekend, like I do every weekend, always, ever. Anyway, I come upon this show, "The Fabulous Lives of the Hilton Sisters" on E!, so I'm thinking, "Screw this! It's VH-1 time again!" So I watch a few minutes, and then a few minutes more, and I'm absorbing all of these amazing facts about these amazing women. For instance, did you know...

* ...that Paris and Nicky wipe their asses with $75,000 bills? It's true! And before the economic downturn, circa 2000, they wiped their asses with $100,000 bills!

* ...that Paris eats soup made out of Cambodian babies? It's supposedly really expensive and delicious. Nicky doesn't partake in the exotic delicacy because she's a vegetarian.

* ...that to lose weight, Paris Hilton had several unnecessary organs removed, including the spleen, one kidney and 24 feet of intestines?! Yes!

* ...that the Hilton sisters are totally pissed off that "24" didn't win "Best Drama" at this year's Emmys? No wait--that was me.

* ...that as it turns out, everything the Hilton sisters say and do is really really newsworthy? And it's super important to keep tabs on them.

* ...that when Nicky visited Florida they closed the entire state and kicked everyone out for two weeks so she could vacation in private?

* ...that Paris and Nicky own 62% of your soul?!

Truly fascinating young ladies.

Japan
Japan is seriously the worst country to go to, if you don't like getting your ass kicked. Everywhere you look there are collectible playing cards that turn into monsters, monsters that turn into collectible playing cards; ninjas, samurai, robots; robots that join together with other robots to make really, really big robots; time-travelling telekinetic vampires, prehistoric radioactive dinosaur ghosts... Just seriously all kinds of shit.

If your life insurance company finds out you are going to Japan, they're probably all like "Fuuuuck you!"

"interests"
If "chillin" is in your list of interests, I regret to inform you that you are an asshole. Is that really an interest? For a bunch of people, "chillin'" is their only interest. Seriously, do a search for it. I found 10372 people in my personal Friendster network alone that are deeply interested in "chillin'."

In a related story, 2750 are interested in it's correctly spelled cousin, "chilling".

If I wrote the screenplay for "Breakfast at Tiffany's"
I would have Holly Golightly break into a sweet guitar solo when she plays "Moon River" out on the stoop. You know, do some finger-tapping like fucking Leslie West "Missisippi Queen"-style shit. Then she could play it with a bow like Jimmy Page.

Also, more whoring.

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